Spaandan

An answer or better say justification ...

2008-10-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

Before you read -

Note : The scene is common

Purpose : An answer or a justification

Addressed to : someone I care

Now you may proceed -

About : Two close friends

Background:

No impression left on gal's mind concerning when the friendship started and knowingly or unknowingly how it got closer to her. Guy is simple and with loads of nonsense principles :P.

With time they got used to each other , sharing all the stuff they had or they felt like to share with each other .Apart from healthy understanding they never felt the need of any justification.

Things were granted until a day he came with following points -

-I had thought its amplified friendship but it is not.

-Sorry but I have to confess it.

-If things permit you in future and if there's no one else in your life , would you like to be all with me?

-Think and take your time.

-Please let me know

-Stay my friend forever.

Gal remains speechless.
-What should she do when a dear guy friend recently realized that he had developed feelings for her??

-Friendship has been inevitably hit a low.

-I chide myself as well as him for it because a perfectly good friendship is now badly strained.

- Yet, all I can do at this juncture is to pray that our friendship will make it through this painful phase.

As of now,he messaged -" the silence of my mobile phone and the distant replies are piercing the splinter deeper into my already reeling heart. I miss you very much as a dear friend. And why does it seem like a crime to appreciate and fall for a someone??Atleast give me the reasons for rejection .

So she comes with -

-I agree you but things hereafter unknowingly do not remain same.

-I do not have any feelings for you ,honestly.

-I just can't pay much attention to one guy.

-I do not find attachement to you, for whom I could give up with my family incase if I have to.

-More , I don't like crying .

and apart from this -I hate temporary relationships and I can not hurt anyone , who is or was once dear to me.

All that I can say is " Sorry"!

I am Sorry !

Retraced

2008-10-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

Few hours before , it was twilight, I was sitting lazily in verandah ( nice place to spend evening time)...and whilst I was thinking about how could have I spent a better evening with friends hanging out somewhere , and before I sort it out, I shrieked ..it was puppy,who made me act infront of bacchalog , playing with it..

There it was , disk of smile on my face , I chuckled and was lost in memory of myriad things I (we) had done in our pink times

....I can recollect it so vividly , dada (brother ) and his gang wale( his friends) and myself, their only sole follower to do all things they would ask me for , like bringing ball while they played cricket and never gave me chance to bat :( and similar things ..

The way we used to play with puppies , bring them home and then got aai's scolding like - "Take it away...wash your hands , you will have some infection , next time you bring it home...."

and the thing I would like to mention about these puppies is that if you give them affection they would repay it , unlike us !..

Once, dada and me had even planned 100% to keep puppy at home , keeping secret from aai

as per plan, we brought it home , made a place in backyard and kept for 2-3 days...made a place for it, I was given the job of stealing chapatis and feed puppy.Later on when it was unfolded, it would not leave the home ...we both tried to convince aai a lot but when governess says no then by no means it can be yes :P .Two days it was taken in car and dropped somewhere , from where it coulnot retrace the path...We had cried a lot ....

I know this is very common incidence but I just wanted to share it here , the emotions , the innocence we had in our childhood , the pure love and real drops that trickled down our face ...

everything was flashed behind my retina ..

And now here it is me , scared of dogs to the hilt one can not even think of ! Really feels so strange ...

Things change with the elevation of eyelid!!

Things change with the depression of eyelid!!

Radha , a concept !

2008-08-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

You must be wondering what a weird title but this is a thought , not of mine , yesterday just while watching sa re ga ma pa on zee marathi ,Awadhoot gupte , one of the judges appointed made this point and I would really love to share it here...

It has been said somewhere that Krishna's Radha was a mere concept and there was no living being actually named Radha..

Radha, who was immmersed completely in love of Lord Krishna ,was married to someone ( XYZ) , but she still could not get out of Hari's love .

This is actually against the nature.

As per dharma , Married woman should love her husband and assume him as lord and should not have second thoughts of any other person.

Then ,

A flow which starts at a specific point and ends at other peculiar point , imagine of water , we call it DHARA ...that is in direction of nature
And so is named RADHA , opposite of DHARA , against the nature and laws !

It doesn't matter whether a RADHA or DHARA , important is survival , in the flow or against the flow !

Thats what I loved ...RADHA , a concept!

Becoming Doctor !

2008-08-14T04:14:00.000-07:00

Flashback , ~ August '07

5 days a week - 2 hours a day-dissection hall -peak gossips-unlimited masti-treat to eyes- eerie expressions-exploring unexplored -gyan exchange-professors scolding = reception -sorry interpretations-catching someone's glimpse from corner of your eye -getting caught by your closest friend

Approximately an year has been passed when we had first entered the dissection hall,it was few days after those theory lectures.

Actually after Deans welcoming speech- I was like -Am I going to enter a profession, perhaps,5 years slaving in which 95% is guesswork ? IDIOPATHIC, the lingo we use, unknown path :-?

3p.m
The first thing we noticed was smell…. most of us including me with handkerchiefs on nasal apertures.

On moving the eyelashes..I was facing dead ,brown ,naked bodies...5 of them
Smell had become even stronger that we could barely breathe.."We will get used to it" was nearest and comforting comment, actually that was the formalin stuff that would keep the body away from decaying by the time we were supposed to dissect and explore

I refreshed the mental note of segals book that -"We who have come to preserve the living ,must first preserve the dead "A kinda paradox :)Soon , all of us were with different expressions on facebook,some had still not overcome that smell,few were like hey ..this is gonna be interesting,few were fainting ,and some supercools (show off) had put on gloves and stuff..

While I was trying to analyse the thoughts of my colleages…
GOOD AFTERNOON !...
……prof. had entered, he was renowned surgeon of city,approx. of my dad's age,fit n impressive., Mr.Gandhi , our guide for rest of the year.Without any further intro's and borin job “I am especially pleased to be leading out expeditions through mysteries of human body !Get instruments and as soon as you get set up, we will start ".

My eyes had twinkled, he was great ,IMPRESSED!

We were split into groups and assigned the cadavers.I had not thought that I would be the one to take first incision amgst gals after boys had started who shared the common cadaver with us.Cunninghum was sole advisor guiding us through epidermis,dermis,subcutaneous fat,superficials fascia ,deep fascia , muscle. whilst we were made to imprint on our grey that-“the bodies before you ( us ) were once breathing ,alive and sentient.They were generous enough that they even after death they would serve mankind.I want u to treat them with respect and if i see foolin around or horseplay , be sure that u will b kicked out”

Actually it depends from where you wish to start dissection .

I would like to mention whilst we dissected for thorax region

This time it had been professor.He took a serrated scissor like tool and broke the breastbone , the sound was like that of breaking a branch of tree.He started slicing through manubrium, xiphoid process,intercostal muscles,thoracic nerves, whilst we were supposed to take mental notes of everything he uttered and suddenly with a snap the rib cage opened like cracked walnutand everyone was beholding breath...a glimpse of mediastinum where the engine of human body , heart lies with lungs on either side!
A photo imprinted on my minds eye…it was awesome and minutes later I was actually holding heart in my hand ..incredible,.. feeling that had ushered can’t be expressed in words. All were hired with the job of clicking all sort of snaps they could :) with the cell phones ;)

Really it was one the best times , we will remember throughout life...becoming doctors, pride it carries , in love with the things that we have learned and further more we will..

Sincerely, its a lot of a hardwork job and worth that hardworking too !
All 550 hours required for anatomy will be always reminded by me ( us).

:-|

2008-08-12T03:23:00.000-07:00

Approximately 30 days have passed by, perhaps a month ..much time, life is seeming like never before,absolutely numb ..

Drenching in rain couldn't make my soul feel the need for warmth

no freshness with the sip of hot coffee

reading had never been this slow

chatting with friends had never been so boring.

Zero appetite for favortie dishes and well no viral fever in monsoon...missing all these things..days fleding so laaziilyy.

Need to snap out of this moistness,so looking forward for a post :-Also few bugged up ....hey no posts ?It was like pinch , hey you read also? :)

Anyway,Until next worthreading- BEAR IT!

Counterview

2008-02-01T12:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I am more of silence and less of words

When things drive me into shock rather than in thought

Sometimes I wish I could be as pure as white

But
A dainty drop ruins it with just slightest effort

Its not just sometimes I assume someone to be good its the way my little eyes see the world

Though my mind knows that often good cloaks the bad

But

Still my heart believes circumstances can make bad cloak the good

Some times I am pinned somehwere between nausea and awe

Someone has said "worlds so harsh that its not just sometimes , it thrashes you deep down the abyss

Sometimes my mind don't want to see what my heart knows is true

And

Sometimes my mind sees what my heart wish were true

Sometimes I wait in vain to hear what I know is imaginary

Sometimes I adjust my mind to hear what my heart knows is reality

Sometimes I want to be less pragmatic

Sometimes I want to get lost

Sometimes I wish things could be according to my whims

Sometimes I want for the things I know I never can

SOMETIMES I DREAM

coz,

I know some virtualities can't turn into realties

Some thoughts are so sweet that they will get lost in my sea of thoughts

Some relationships are so innocent to be understood by this world so upside down

All defect lies here

I am the girl tormented by my own personal demons.........MY EMOTIONS

Impatient!

2008-02-01T12:12:00.000-08:00

Constantly I waggle with my heart

Can't you see the battle that I daily have?

Tears leave my eyes lone

Cant you see that my emotions

are stranding parched?

Often my eyes glimpse in expectation

Can't you see that they keep searching you my dear?

While I stand lone

I dunno whether its you or your mirage what I see

Be it for a moment then can't you cross your fingers with mine

I am ready to wait till the time unknown

But my love , are you returning to me?

or
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
leave me lone just like this?

Sometimes

2008-02-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you can’t tell someone that ‘I love you’

But that’s what you want them to understand

Sometimes I am entangled in someone

Sometimes I try to live much isolated from someone

And

Sometimes I am so confused

I am in somewhat difficult times that

I , myself, isn’t able to understand

When I show attachment I hurt myself

When I show detachment I hurt someone else

Note : Ugly Catterpillar owes her beautiful butterfly

:-)

2008-01-31T12:30:00.000-08:00

Thanks !

Beyond imperfections..........

Tagg'd , ....!

2007-11-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

You people should probably know by now that I am not interested in tag games, especially in the cyberspace. However, I do make an exception when certain tags come my way and I recognise an opportunity to share a bit more about myself and the person I am inside. So here goes...

RULES:
- Come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect partner.
- Mention the gender of his or her partner.
- Tag 8 other victims to join this game.
- If you are tagged the 2nd time, there is NO need to do it again.
- People who are tagged must comment and the tagger should respond
- Lastly, have fun doing it!

Sex of target :MALE
Pointers about the perfect lover I have in mind is easy to write. But wouldn't it be hard for you all to imagine the type of guys I like? His personality, features and characteristics?

One: Look doesn't matter .He must be confident with the person he is inside and not trying to become someone else to suit the crowd.

Two: Someone who is not afraid to express his feelings and emotions (concern,love etc.) to the people around him.

Three: He must be simple in dressing , witty by grey and believes in magic of smile , eye language , tactile an other little things.

Four:He must be Indian and should love India for its screwd politics, slums, roads with pothholes, errupted current supply, water scarcity !

Five: He who cannot bear being apart from me. Some of you would call it being attached to me, I call it loving me as a daily habit. Constant communication is a must.;-)

Six:Some one who will be able to tolerate my stupid ideas

Seven:The one who would prefer wada pav instead of McD' burger and enjoys the bhelpuri, golgappa .....and should be music addict and a nature lover too.

Eight: Someone who will love me for who I am as I would for him. If you have to change yourself to love someone, that is not love. If you have to change the one you love, then you are not loving him.

Now, time to tag others. Before I do, I just want to say that this game is a perfectly good one for you to judge yourself on the kind of lovers you want . Be honest with yourself. Love makes a person selfish sometimes and it is understandable.

Tagging the following:

Sonam
Arup

Swapnil
Suyash

Piyush
Navin
Somesh
Ratnesh

why 8 only yaar? can't I tag more?

Credits to chetan who made me come out with these points.

TP:Post

2007-11-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

Alone ?

online?

no mood in chat or study ?

no problem - just having a timepass blogpost !

hiccupin?

Hiccup is the involuntary spasmodic contraction of the diaphragm accompanied by the approximation of the vocal folds and closure of the glottis of the larynx. It is a common condition in normal individuals and occurs after eating or drinking as a result of gastric irritation of the vagus nerve endings. It may, however, be a symptom of disease such as pleurisy, peritonitis, pericarditis, or uremia.

Sorry for this blah , blah , blah ...still next time when you hiccup don't be under wrong impression that someone missed you ;-)

I'm not against ....

2007-10-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

Broken hearts- love's deceit

Broken promises- love's a lie

Broken dreams- love's illusion

Broken hope- love's a game

Broken sleep- love's the cause

Broken spirit- love of sorrow

Broken life- love is lost

Broken present -love's cost

Who am I?

2007-10-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

When heart is full

I peep n't out

When it is sorrowful

they look n't in

I and world are world

apart ......

Each other we never find

world is wise

and I always have

heart in mind ...

this is me .....

LOST!

2007-10-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

O! I'm lost
In the memory lane
of our times together

O! I'm lost
In search of his eyes
reflecting sea of love for me

O! I'm lost
Cherishing the ways
he cares for me

O! I'm lost
In the silence to hear the sound
how my heart beats for him

O! I'm lost
In his smile ,a curve that sets
everything straight in my life

O! I'm lost
Waiting for the moment ,
when he'll behold my hand ,
Forever

O! I'm lost
Amidst of myriad reasons
for I love him

O! I'm lost
In the Dream , which my li'l heart
kno's is only meant to be broken

O! I'm lost
In the web of countless
emotions which flows in vain

In Search of "me"

2007-09-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

I am not what others
think me to be
But I am what I think
Myself to be ...

I am not what others
Hear from me when I speak
I am what I speak to myself
In my conscience mirror

I am not of smile
Visible on the face
I am of tears
That never show a trace

I am not of the weakness
that others see
I am strength
Known alone to me

I am not what
Life destined me to be
But I am what
I desire my life to be

I am not what mere words describe me
But I am what
Silence speaks aloud

Yet I , me ,myself
Is still mystery to me......

Reason for everything..

2007-08-28T06:21:00.001-07:00

........." Everything happens for a reason"People step in your life for a reason….they leave u for a reason .Some teach you confidence ,others inspire you , Some love you ….some teach you the language of love and some teach you to love yourself……And there are some who make you stronger by rippin your life apart and then some of them leave when their purpose in life is over …You cannot hold them back so let them go graciously . Happiness comes for a reason do about sadness reason is pretty simple .It’s all to teach us a lesson .Though the lessons of life book are simple , learnin remains a herculean task!!So here I define life-A successive series of unexpected events , each holdin a life lesson behind it!

trying to learn from ...

Yea, I wrote a story !

2007-08-07T02:44:00.000-07:00

"God has given the power to express happiness to several of his creatures but distinguisged human beings by bestowing them with with a genius to express magnificient sadness"

Her ship was sailing smoothly on the life's sea .

Though her brain had warned her, her heart didn't want to take its advice .And so she had accepted him as a part of her life , her friend wh0 was SPECIAL TO HER !

It was with 'him' where her dreams had taken roots.Without him,she would have never believed in the things , she believes ! She knew She had hurt him and this thing keeps gnawing at her heart inspite of much time that has been passed.

It was he who had brought this friendship closer to her heart but now she's the one who doesn't want to tear it apart from herself.

Not a week ever passed unconversed .Shaping ,dreaming , supporting , caring , craving ..........sharing !

But as each one of us knows waves of sea are as ever ruffled with its crests and troughs ,so her ship was bound to suffer .And life's not something which goes on according to our whims and wishes.

Her eyes were reflecting emotions like care , fear , patience and a silent tear. It had been days and not a 'brr' from him .'Silence of friends -it kills '.But this was what she would call silence before the storm.His silence had fidgeted her worry

After months it was him.She was entangled in web of her hearts emotions and brain's queries which increased in geometric progression when he told her-"I failed as a friend , this friendship can't go anymore ,I AM SORRY !"

She remembers everything about that day. She remembers every word and all those foolish , vain , unwary thoughts , as if fate had just slapped her face .She hated it.She hated him .But she knew , hate can't kill love, her love for her friend .

Everything seemed so empty and so meaningless to her.Dreams and assurances of staying together were in couple of minutes ruined like a palace of sand by mighty waves of sea , on sea-shore...
"Are relationships so frail and fragile that they can't withstand the test of time?
Some falter , some fail , some pass just without trail ...
Few talk of life time together but end at the first step "
Anaesthesia was poured into her little heart that it was too numb for sorrow and too cold for rage .
She knew that she needs to be impervious to hurts but this isn't something we do willingly .And Things that hurt , INSTRUCT ! mind it !
Time itself heals the wounds it makes and for unknown reasons and as unexpected he was back .May be because more suffering was on her part .At time , she had hurt him and now it was her time to repay .

Again ,it was he who had compensated for the chasm that had been created , gesturing that he really wants his friend , her back !They were same and different , what you would call after cementing job.

Still its true- We can deny the past but we can't escape its torment because the past is a speaking shadow that keeps pace with the truth of what we are !

Time is wise. It knows the game - how ro bring people closer and then to set them apart.
She was witnessing the change that followed , but it is futile to think of things which aren't in our hands .Sharing was replaced by asking .Knowing was replaced by telling.More 'sorry' making entry.Length of mail was reduced , gradually by couple of lines and offline messages.
There was too much that she wasn't understanding and there was too much that she wouldn't allow herself to ask..She usually condoled herself that its time and distance what needs to be conquered and crossed.

Though her world had been same for all these years , his world had changed- it was expanded.Neither of them had time with their careers to be addressed first .
Waiting is the whole thing she did.For her,hours of waiting had been transformed into tension ,tension had become tear and tear is something that makes you embarrassed about showing affection...
Sailing through tough times, she was thinking test times were over .Still more was there for her to learn and understand that Life -It screws you right when you think you have figured it all out.

She was screwed...

He told her -" I can't give you what you deserve .I want you to remain as you are but at the same time expect nothing from me.I am quiting the place soon .Don't miss me .Try to live isolated.I am not sure how long this relationship will go"

She wanted to scream - " If pain must come may it come quickly .She has a life to live and wants to live it in best possible way .If he has choice to make , make it now.That she will either wait ( as ever ) or forget him. Waiting is painful .Forgetting is painful but knowing not what to do is worst kind of suffering"

He had hurt her , leaving jagged edges where all her trust had been.She tried to convince herself that she didn't like him or respect him or admire him anymore but still she knew it was false.

He had said nothing more than she already knew to be true, but a black shark of grief had engulfed in her sea of thoughts.....

She had tried to fix her eyes on the clear and perfect stars of that fated nights sky , but again and again her concentration lapsed.
It was the night he had to make his final decision .
It was the night , she had cried
She couldn't help those dainty drops when she came to know that her friend is lost and doesn't really like her at all.
But you know - Stars and moon - both fight darkness and beautify night.Stars are persistent , though moving and expanding , while moon changes according to its phases.Still both accompany each other.
He had made his decision , she hopes , a final decision and a promise and for sure it was positive.
She had now understood - "Our friendship will suffer , will have dissappointments but all this is transitory and it leaves no permanant mark .And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken "

She knows that their friendship will never have happy ending because it will never end on her side ..........my dear friend !

Note: All stories have something in common .So you might have shared a few feelings with Pilar before.

Just for GAGs

2007-08-03T03:19:00.000-07:00

Before the marriage: (Top to bottom)

He: Yes. Atlast. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don’t even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

{Now after the marriage. You can read it bottom to top leaving last line.}

Foe more, visit: www.shortfunnyjokes.net

By the River Piedra I sat down and wept

2007-08-03T02:33:00.000-07:00

I picked up this novel shortly after reading Coelho's best work, 'The Alchemist'.

Again, I was shocked by the author's ability to present difficult concepts with such simplicity. 'By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept' is a novel about insecurity, love, trust, and faith. The main character, Pilar, struggles with her love for a friend who she believes does not love her. Intertwined in this conflict is Coelho's point of view towards the female attributes of a mostly male dominant Christian God- a concept that is discussed heavily as a subplot.

The novel opens with Pilar at the banks of the River Piedra. She is writing this novel which, as the reader finds out, narrates the details of her ruined love life. Pilar bemoans her fate and begins telling the reader of the journey that led her to find the solace of the river bank.

Referring to her lover as "He", Pilar tells how her childhood friend became a powerful figure in the Catholic Church and a miraculous healer of both bodies and souls. When He invites Pilar to attend one of his conferences in Madrid, she learns that He not only speaks of the feminine side of God but also confesses his unending love for her. Hesitant to accept his love and believing herself unworthy of it, Pilar continuously changes the subject when it becomes too emotional for her to bear. However, her love for Him prompts her to accept his invitation and tour Spain with him, and thus begins a feverish journey of self-discovery, spiritual reawakening, and rekindled love.

The ever-changing spiral of her travels is both heart-wrenching and uplifting as Pilar retells the story of a love that could surpass all religious doctrines if she would only give it the chance.

Pilar at times appears whiney and childish, and her claims of not being loved do get old.

There is a certain atmosphere that emanates from this book and immersing ones' soul into it is a purifying experience. The two main characters are in search of love, and the understanding of love

Overall, I found this to be a beautifully written spiritual book - one that lends itself to reflection.

And something I would quote from the book

" All love stories are same"

The CALL

2007-07-30T00:02:00.000-07:00

It had not been more than a minute that her cell beep'd .Also it wasn't for the first time that the message was flashing his name.

Several emotions were chasing one another across the soft , unblemished landscape of her thoughts.

She dial'd........

She knew that she wasn't greenhorn unable to follow her instincts but it was childthat resides in her heart , resisting her.

Her heart beats were like dark clouds encroaching , engulfing her landscape of thoughts.She was bemused by the battle she was wagging with her heart.

Words of her friend were constantly nagging her " You are a bit less realistic , try to be more realistic and you will understand that life isn't much complex as you see it"

She had two thoughts in her mind - either he shares her mind or he has appointed a spy. But she already knew that either of them is untrue.

Against the wishes of her conscious mind , her inner wanted to hear to him .

10 digits - distance she needed to cross

Tense 15 seconds , 4 long bells and a "hello" at both ends

Silence

It was broken by her.

In past few months , her heart was moving through deep and silent waters.No one and nothing could make really hurt her.No one and nothing could make her very happy.She was tough which probably is saddest thing about a person you can say .

But nothing was same as before . His voice had elated her .Everything was poised by his voice - which was soothing.There were no more dark clouds in her sky .

When things in life are beautiful , time fleds so fast . 455 seconds and things in life are bounded.They talked as they were used to.

Once he had said " I've really found something today"

But now she says " she had really founded something "

Why The Call ?

Its not merely about the call she made but the call of her innerself which she answered conquering all fears her little heart had.

Its about The Call which told her -

Life is simple - as she is trying to be more realistic

People are good- as she keeps faith in them

Sky is clear- as clouds aren't there

Sun's shining - for shadows to accompany her

And her star - still fighting the darkness

Thanks

For,

2007-07-20T11:53:00.001-07:00

my true love

There are no words to express how I feel about him I constantly search for the words, and they all seem less than I truly feel. He's a part of my life, my heart, and my soul. He is my best friend. It would be right saying -I am because of him ...

He has such a understanding heart and he is perennial source of strength and support . Right from the start a constant readiness to help , in a kind and thoughtful way . No matters what may come my way , always encouraging and forgiving .

He always knows whats on my mind which makes me believe in telepathy oft.

He has a strength like a mountain , majesty like a tree , warmth like summer sun , calm and unruffled like a quiet sea.He's like comforting arm of night and who gives power like phoenix's flight.

He has given me my independence but at the same time he has taught me how to stay within horizons. He gives mme room for privacy but at the same time tells that there be no thing like secrecy because when it comes to secrecy then its a matter of conceal and fear....

I love everything about him....

the way he listens to me, the way he answers to me , the ways he scolds me for my mistakes and then specially his emotion when he rectify my errs and the ways he smiles ....which I treasure like nothing else..

I love every tactile of him ...the way he holds my hand with eternal faith in me, like he boosts up my morale by lending his shoulder and the way he expressess his love for me by kissing me on my forhead ......its all so pure and beautiful !!

Though we love each other like skies infiniteness and believe like depths of oceans....needless to say yet -

I love you - Dad

"Sometimes I have so much to say

Sometimes my silence says it all

As you are truly listening to me , my Dad

I Don't need words at all"

Clouds in the sky…colours in the heart

2007-07-18T11:04:00.001-07:00

Rain.... RAIN…

Something rolls within …… word which dominates the mind like nothing can !

An image of gloomy and dim face of nature appears in our mental montage. The sky from dawn to dusk remains overshadowed by clusters of clouds.

Clouds in the sky mean refreshing rain that has a romanticizing effect in our hearts. When the clouds float in the sky like the surf of the sea, then our hearts dance with an unknown sensation. When the sky darkens as the sun disappears beneath a blanket of scudding clouds, then, seemingly in an instant, sheets of rain gush out across the parched landscape….on parched hearts….on parched thoughts…giving rise to new life and feelings.

The scattering raindrops announce the arrival of happiness

With the life giving rain and its wild storm, the monsoon is a mixed blessing, whimsical, unpredictable just like a obstinate sixteen year old girl.. When these little drops of the rain falls on our long- parched body after the simmering summer, our body gives a shuddering response just like a mimosa ( touch-me-not) plant and the rain gives us a enticing touch.

Rains , as it makes the earth’s greenery strikingly rich so it makes the tender hearts of the youth fertile .There’s no innocent expression than seeing (searching) the reflection of your loved ones in these little drops on your palm. Same raindrops provide refuge to tears of a broken heart.

The rain has such a beautifying and magnifying effect . The first rain brings widespread excitement among the children and how much I envy them as they go out and have a douche in the rains spreading water and mud over each other .

Really, how delightful it is to make paper boat and make it float in the pools of the yard formed by the rain…and even today I don’t miss it !

The cloudy sky gets into a strong interaction with the human mind and awakens it to its senses So rain comes with many moods and shapes and takes an enduring place in our senses and sensibilities.

It wets the land and wets the soul.

Its beating.....(again)

2007-07-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

Spaandan ...pulse...beats of heart...how can something which itself is life can stop ?

Someone has told me -' Life is beautiful when seen through beautiful mind'.....and so I am here coz of this person , till now I was wrong caring for the things which were not in my hands and ignoring all beautiful things which were ( are) waiting for me to embrace .

I still believe that a life not mere outcome of decisions you take but circumstances which govern it , but then , it depends on us , living its
every moment ....

Here , trying to pen thoughts , straight from heart ....

...........And I fly again

2006-07-20T11:41:00.001-07:00

Like a carefree bird
Soaring in the air

To touch the vault of heaven
Singing songs of joy forever

Not knowing the world below
What it will bestow

In my dreams up i flew
knowing not it wont come true

Though wounded again n again
gatherin courage to wings

I fly further up again !!

How?

2006-06-16T02:30:00.000-07:00

How can deep darkness bring more light ?

How can cry of anguish yield a sweet smile ?

How can worst pain give birth to most beautiful gain?

How can greatest weakness be the strongest asset ?

answer plz

Imposed dreams

2006-06-13T00:52:00.000-07:00

The following conversation is between child and father .....is it reality or dreadful dream ?

Child : Dad , who am i ?
Dad : you are my son dear

Child : From where did I come ?
Dad : you are born to me .

Child : Why am here?
Dad : you are my world ..my little ,blood of my blood ...
flesh of my flesh!

Child : Where will I go ?
Dad : you are my future..i will make you just like me , I will
make me out of you, my dreams through you will come true...
I will live .through you....SO THAT YOU WILL STOP TO EXIST!!